Big Head
by polo5004
Summary: (Oneshot but may make a sequel story) Our lovable world-saving dork finds everyone favourite mask. Will he use it to bring the evil alien to justice? Or will he go down a darker path? Is Zim interested on that mask? Will GIR gets his tacos? WILL I STOP MAKING SO DAMN QUESTIONS! Probably not. Rated T for curse words.
_Sweats_

What do you mean? No, i don't owe Invader Zim, nor The Mask, silly! Neither do i owe Frozen, so you can't arrest me!

 _Runs away to his car_

* * *

We see a badly done yourveryowncylinder video being filmed, where a teen with black spiky hair, glasses, a blue shirt and a black trench coat was holding a wooden mask on his hands.

-As you will see, this mask right here has the power to turn anybody into a living cartoon, stripping them from their inhibitions and making their face green… I can't do this. This is too outlandish, even for me- The kid dropped the mask to the floor. –I'm pretty sure it's not too late to make a vlog about Bigfeets…-

-He's a cool guy, you know?- A girl with purple hair, gothic attire and a skull necklace who was squinting her eyes crossed her arms watching him from the door.

-Gaz! Since when were you here?- The kid said to her.

-Since you started doing that god-awful video, i guess. But a mask than grants you powers? THAT mask?- She rolled her eyes, and with rolling them, I mean her eyes actually moved a little around her face.

-I know, but the museum's tour guide said than it was magic!-

-He also tells little children than he reanimates dinosaurs-

-Oh-

-Yeah, you believe everything people say!-

-That's not true!-

-Dad's cooking a magic turkey than grants wishes and speaks with a London accent!- Gaz gestured dramatically to the kitchen.

-Really?-

-No, Dib- She face-palmed.

-Alright-

-Gaz, Dib, time to eat!- Their father's voice came from downstairs.

-Alright, Dib. See you there-

Dib resigned himself with a sigh, and went to turn off his camera. While he went, Gaz thought of a prank on him. She grabbed the mask, and…

-Hey, Dib!-

-What…- He couln't respond, as she threw the mask to his face.

-There! Now there's something to hide your ugly and big face…-

Something than neither of them expected happened. The mask actually grabbed his face, and began to pull him. He then became a green tornado than spun around the room. When he stopped, he was wearing a black t-shirt and a black cape, with sunglasses. His face was green and he was wearing a confident smile.

-Sssssmokin'!- He said with an energetic voice. He then looked at himself. –What is this?- He examined himself as Gaz slowly recomposed herself.

-What the hell happened!?- Gaz asked.

The masked Dib spun around. When he stopped, he was wearing a nerd attire. -I-It seems the Ma-Mask of Loki has po-possesed me- He said with a nasal accent before spunning back into his previous attire. –AND IT MEANS I CAN DO ANYTHING, SIS!- He then proceeded to chew the scenery in ways only Zim could even dream. –Including this!- He then got a gun out of nowhere and shoot himself until he had a lot of holes, like cheese. Cheese is a lacteous aliment used in many things, including sandwichs, tacos…

-TACOS!- GIR appeared out of nowhere.

It's not your time yet, GIR.

-Aw…- He walked away sadly.

-Ahem… Narrator, could you please continue on with the story?- Masked Dib asked what every reader is feeling right now. Alright, sorry for the delay…

Gaz was amazed, actually opening her eyes. She passed a hand through one of the holes.

-Auch! Gaz, you have an elbow in my ribs- Masked Dib then signaled how her other elbow was on some pig ribs. He then snapped back to normal. –Alright sis, it's party time! P-A-R-T-Why? Because I gotta!- He was ready to make a mad dash for the door, when Gaz grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

-You're not going anywhere until we find out what the fuck happened to you-

-Oh, yes I am- Masked Dib signaled a neon sign than said "Anywhere". He then extended his arm to freakishly huge amounts and touched it with a pinky. -There, you see, little sis?-

-Did you just called me "Little"- Gaz twitched, but knew than her brother usually wouln't defy her.

-Oh, yes, little sis- He smirked and freed himself from her grasp. –This mask… IT GIVES ME POWER! TO! DO! THIS!- He then did the unthinkable for normal Dib. He gave her a wedgie. He laughed, and laughed and laughed, and Gaz din't seemed to react.

-Did- She started. Masked Dib had a "Oh crap" look on his face.

-You- He then got in a run away cartoon pose.

-Just- He then dashed out of the room.

-Gave- He was down the stairs now.

-Me- He dashed past his dad on the kitchen, who was reading a book than said "How to stop being neglectful".

-HIDADI'MGONNAGETOUTDON'TWAITFORME!- He said quickly. His dad checked the book.

-Alright son, but come back before twelve o' clock or you're grounded!- His dad waved him off. A turkey with a monocle got out of the oven.

-Oh gee, I really hope he comes back. Do you want to make a wish for him to come back?- The turkey said with a sophisticated London accent.

-No thanks Gregory, I'm fine-

-A- At that moment, Masked Dib got out of the house and dashed out at mad speed.

-WEDGIE!-Flames were burning besides Gaz, who was screaming at the top of her lungs. –I swear, Dib Membrane, you will pay!- She then went in chase of him while ominous music played on the background.

-Gaz! Please return before twelve o' clock!- Her dad said, not concerned about her flames or the ominous music.

-Yes dad- She searched outside, in the trash cans, the newspaper, and decided to search on other streets. She, however, din't noticed a blue police box. From it, came out Masked Dib.

-Failed a spot check, it seems. This nice thing is bigger on the inside- He then clapped the police box, which disappeared. –Now, let's see…- He got out of his pocket a ridiculous large list which dropped to the floor. –First, check on Zim. Gotta need a new Dibmovile first- He looked around until he saw a broked down car. He spun it a little, and then it had become a James Bond-esque car. –Oh, somebody stop me!- He screamed as he got on the car.

The car dashed into the night, only to come back within seconds on reverse.

-Crap! I'll need a scapegoat for Gaz!- Masked Dib then saw Keef walking and got an idea. He dashed just besides him, who din't seemed weirded out on the slightest.

-Hey Dib are you gonna go to Zim's house I'm going too don't you love it when Zim throws you to the other street it's very fun to play that game I love it because Zim is always screaming…- Keef trailed off as Masked Dib disguised Keef as him.

-That was fun. Bye!- Masked Dib got in his car and went off as Gaz appeared.

-Hey Gaz you're pretty weird and Zim one time screamed about you destroying his stuff after he throwed me to the…- Keef din't seemed to notice how a very pissed off Gaz grabbed him and dragged him to a hole with fire than appeared out of nowhere and closed when they went through it.

* * *

-GIR! Get me the plunger! The entrance to the lab got stuck again!- A green and short alien man with red eyes and a weird uniform was on a bathroom.

-I'm coming, master- A grey robot with green eyes appeared, looking depressed.

-What's wrong, GIR?" Zim asked him.

-I got rejected for a cool movie, master- GIR said between robotic muffles.

-I don't understand! You're the minion of the great Zim! Why would they not want you is a mystery, since Zim was not there to steal you the role!- Zim said.

-THANKS, MASTER!- GIR cheered up inmediately. –IT SEEMS THE HUMAN WITH THE BIG HEAD STOLE ME THE PART, AND HE HAD A GREEN FACE-

-Green face? Computer, check database on "Green face"!-

-"Green face". A magic mask it's said to hold the powerful god Loki, who…-

-Skip to the point, computer! What is this "Mask of Lockey"?- Zim said without any patience.

-Alright, alright. The mask gives you unlimited power, green face and no inhibitions. Happy now?-

-Unlimited power!?-

-Yeah-

-Unlimited power!?-

-Yeah-

-Unlimited power!?-

-Yeah-

-EXCELLENT!- Zim got his hands together as he did something similar to Mr Burns.

-WHAT EGGS? MASTER, ARE YOU GONNA MAKE A CAKE?- GIR asked.

-No, GIR, but when Zim is over with this, we'll have all the cakes you want!- Zim started to laugh evilly as GIR floated in the background happily.

-YAY! CAKE!-

-We just need to track Dib and his big green head and then…-

-MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!- A voice screamed.

-Who said that?!- Zim asked.

-MAYBE IT'S THE VOICES THAN I'M ALWAYS HEARING. NO, I'M NOT GONNA BURN THE BASE!-

-MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEElolEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!- Masked Dib's car crashed through the base. Masked Dib slowly opened the car window. –Honey, I'm home!- He then got off the car, which exploded.

-H-HOW?!- Zim was amazed.

-Rule of cool, Zim. Cars always explode when you get out of them-

-That din't happened on Quick and Bad Tempered!-

-Well, that's a movie about cars. If their cars were always exploding, they couln't race. And I'm pretty sure it happened on the ending of Quick and Bad Tempered XIII: Milking the franchise-

-Yeah, you're right- Zim suddenly realized his mortal enemy was on his base. –DIB!-

-ZIM!- Masked Dib realized he was on his mortal enemy's base.

-DIB!- Zim got out a Proton gun.

-ZIM!- Masked Dib got out a giant shotgun.

-GIR!- GIR suddenly realized he left his tacos on the microwave.

-SQUEAK!- Minimoose was not important to this fic, so he was dropped down a plot hole.

-Now, Zim, we'll fight to the end of times, in a fight than will last for about thirteen words- Masked Dib charged his shotgun. Hey, don't critize my writing style, Dib. –You can go fuck yourself in the ass, narrator!- Oh that's it, you're gonna get replaced. –Oh yeah? You and what army!-

Zim and GIR noticed Masked Dib seemingly talking to himself.

–On second thoughts, I may not want that mask anymore, if it will drive me crazy like Dib has- Zim whispered to GIR.

-I WOULD LIKE MAYONNAISE WITH THAT CHOCOLATE BAR-

That's it, Masked Dib, you're getting dropped down a plothole. –You wouln't dare!- Oh yes I would. A plot hole appeared beneath Masked Dib's feet. –YOU CAN'T KILL ME! I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER!- Alright, alright. A blonde girl with blue eyes, beautiful clothes and a stunning beauty fixed the hole with tape. Thank you, Mary Sue. Now go back to your corner.

-I don't know what happened. But I know something. DIE!- Zim shoot at Masked Dib, who dropped dead to the floor. –I KILLED HIM! Wait, I killed him!- Zim suddenly went from joy to regret. –What have I done!-

-Cough, cough- Masked Dib said aloud the sound. –That's all, pig. That's all. The secret treasure is in the…- Masked Dib fell dramatically. –Don't cry for me, USA!- He then fell to the floor with his tongue out and his eyes on an x as Zim cried and the United States flag appeared on the background

GIR got in the room while eating a taco as Masked Dib got up. –Alright, alien SCUM. Draw!- He was now on a cowboy attire as he wildly shooted.

-WHAT THE!- Zim avoided Masked Dib's shoots with mere luck. –SINCE WHEN ARE ALIENS AND COWBOYS TOGETHER! SOUNDS LIKE A TERRIBLE IDEA!-

We wanna use this paragraph to promove "Cowboys vs Aliens vs Zombies vs Monsters vs Mutants vs Superman: Dawn of Justice" Thank you and go see it or Irkens will invade you.

-OH YES, ALIEN SCUM, NOW…- Masked Dib spun into his normal clothes and thought. –Wait, if I kill you, I'll never be able to prove you're an alien- He spun into a photographer clothes. –Say "Goofy Wacky Waffle"!-

Zim posed as Masked Dib took photos of him. –This is my good angle- He then was on a pole dancing as GIR cheered on.

-And sexy- Masked Dib said as Zim danced. –And rude, and sexy, and rude, and sexy, and…-

-DIB!-

-Aw shit man, I'm too old for this shit, man- Masked Dib muttered under his breath as Gaz appeared with Keef on bandages, but still seeming happy.

-Look, I don't know what that mask has done to you but oh my god what is going on- Gaz watched how Zim was dancing on a pole as Masked Dib took photos.

-Hey, it's a living!- Masked Dib was now on his normal clothes. –And besides, we need something for the fangirls-

The scene cut away to a very fat and unhygienic woman gidding at her computer. –Don't judge me-

-Alright, it doesn't matters. I'M GONNA KILL YOU!- She then threw a punch at Masked Dib. She then grabbed her hand in pain.

-Be careful, sis. IT'S EMO-GIRLS-ARE-RAINING SEASON!- Masked Dib grabbed a bazooka and tried to shoot her, but the force threw him away by the window.

Zim then seemed to wake up and looked at himself –GIR WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! ZIM SWEARS HE'S GONNA KILL DIB!- He then threw himself on his bed. –Tomorrow-

-I'm going home- Gaz just went away shell-shocked.

-I'M HORRIBLY TRAUMATIZED BY THIS WHOLE ORDEAL!- GIR happily went away.

-Hey best friend, can I have a sleepover?- Without getting up, Zim shoot Keef with a Proton gun, which sended him to his home. –ZIM NOTICED MEEEEEEEEE!-

* * *

In the artic, a snowman seemed to tire out a group of travelers.

-Anna, we need to save Arendelle from…- Olaf was promptly smashed by a falling Masked Dib, which prompted a sign of relief from Anna, Kristoff and Sven.

-Thank fuck you killed him. Wanna join us?- Kristoff asked the masked kid.

-Sorry, must dash- Masked Dib dashed off at great speed.´

Olaf face then appeared on the snow.

-Hi guys!- A collective groan was heard from everyone.

* * *

Masked Dib dashed for behind an alley and pulled the mask off, making Dib get his normal face back and get his normal clothes. –What just happened?- He entered his house only to find out Gaz was punching him on the face repeteadly.

-Son, do you have any idea what time it is?- His father was dead serious.

-No…-

-Neither do i!- He then looked at a clock. –It's a minute to twelve! Well, time to go to bed-

-Dib and I have to go do something outside- Gaz said coldly. She dragged a screaming Dib outside.

-Have fun!- Their dad and the turkey waved at them.

She then throwed Dib to a wall of the house.

-WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!- She screamed at him.

-I don't know!- He answered.

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITH "I DON'T KNOW"!-

-That mask took control of me!-

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITH THAT!- She grabbed the mask.

-I mean than that mask gives you a lot of power, but removes your inhibitions. It feels… Kind of nice actually! It's like a huge barrier is lifted off your shoulders, but at the same time, you know what you're doing is wrong, but it's like you… Just don't care at all! Gaz, what are you doing?- Dib could only panic as Gaz put the mask on her face, becoming a tornado and stopping. She now was wearing a punk rocker clothes, and her face was green.

-Oh, DIBBY!- She smiled with two full rows of sharp teeth.


End file.
